


New Discoveries

by chimeramixtapes



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF
Genre: M/M, i was writing a practice story for an exam and i was really proud of this so, richjake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14752202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimeramixtapes/pseuds/chimeramixtapes
Summary: Jake and Rich are going about a routine of cruising along in Jake's car, when Jake comes to a realization. He's in a car with a beautiful boy, and he loves him.





	New Discoveries

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is a pretty long piece for me, and i'm very proud of how it turned out. my prompt was to write about a car journey, and i used 'you are jeff' by richard siken as inspiration for this piece. i hope you like it! if you do, hit me up on my tumblr @jaakedillinger, or leave a comment here! much love!

                Rich Goranski doesn’t know what he’s doing- but people rarely do. He sits in the passenger seat of a too-fancy, too-clean Chevrolet Stingray, black against the setting sun’s sky. Rich is leaned on the arm of the door, cheek balanced on his palm, and his other hand occupied by his mouth, chewing viciously on his thumb. He’s ADHD, and he'll announce that fact proudly, he can’t sit still, and he especially can’t sit still when he’s nervous, blue eyes focused on the stretch of road ahead. He jiggles a leg incessantly, watching as the car smoothly speeds over the New Jersey street, the sun glinting on the stretch of sea that reminds Rich all-too-much of the water that makes the burns on his arms itch. He risks a glance at the boy beside him, a tall boy with eyes like hard amber, dark hair, and teeth that were too white behind his pink lips.

                Jake Dillinger kind of knows what he’s doing, which is better than not knowing altogether. He sits in the drivers seat, though he’s not exactly legal, and he watches the road ahead, driving a steady pace down the road. He knows that if the cops come along, this will turn into a whole different scenario, and the soft orange-purple streaks of the sky will turn into a lick of fire, his heartbeat will accelerate. They’ve done nothing but help them, but when it comes to police authority, they make him nervous. He rests one hand on the wheel, the other one on the gear-stick, and his gaze focused forward. He shifts his foot on the pedal, and thinks about how he’s in a car with a boy; his best friend of three years, a little shorter than average, a shock of ginger slicked back at his hair, a red skunk stripe streaking through, too many freckles to count on his skin, a jaw like rock, and a little gap between his front two teeth, something he always pressed his tongue against, even now.

                They don’t talk over the low hum of a sharpie-covered CD that Jake had made, until Rich can’t take it anymore, and opens the glove box with a snap that breaks the silence- Jake feels his shoulders relax in relief, Rich was good with just… getting rid of silence. He watches Rich pick out a CD that he’d made for their drives, “Dude- you’re supposed to play this when we’re in the car together, dumbass.” Rich grumbles, taking out Jake’s CD and putting in his own, the front decorated with a bold black font in Rich’s familiar handwriting. He turns the volume up, not enough to deafen, but enough to make the speakers vibrate when the drummer comes in with a heavy beat. Rich bobs his head to the music, and Jake mimics him, turning a simple bend as they cruise the highway out of New Jersey- one day they’d leave, go to college somewhere that wasn’t here.

                Jake watches the trees whip by in that eerie way they do- the windows aren’t open, there’s a faint chill in the summer evening, he’s kept his jacket on and everything. Rich and Jake like this- they’d taken to doing it quite often, when they just needed an escape, when Rich moseyed from his older brother and his fiancés apartment with an ease that he’d never truly felt before, and Jake found a gap in his hectic work schedule, they’d pile into the car, stick enough money for gas together, and drive. Other days, Rich would roll his bike from Steven and Tiffany’s apartment down the stairs, and Jake would grab his from his room in that dismal excuse of a new home he lived in, and they’d cycle down to the trail. Jake hadn’t known they existed, Rich had mapped them out himself when he was younger, trekking here with his older brother, and then eventually by himself. There were a lot of memories in the grass, when they were first recovering from the fire, when Jake was learning to walk again, they’d walk the trail for as long as he could bear it, Rich would hold onto his arms with a trembling grip, and they’d walk, and encourage each other. _Dude, you’re doing so amazing. I can’t believe we got this far so soon. This is where Steven and I played baseball as kids. Remember when I pushed you into that bed of nettles by accident when we were cycling back? Yeah, it was awesome._

                They loved to talk- it was one of their things, they’d joke and mess around with each other, play stupid games, and throw food at each other when one was being gross. The car wasn’t something that happened often- one of the few pieces that survived the scourge of flames that ate Jake’s house on Halloween, nestled neatly in the garage, giving the illusion that someone was always home. It had been his mother’s car, but Jake decided to keep it for himself, until he was old enough to take driving lessons without parental permission. But he knew how to drive, because every kid knows how to drive before they’re old enough to actually drive, and Jake’s old enough to actually drive, but he needs his parents to sign stuff, and that’s not gonna happen, so he just… keeps an eye out for the cops, and drives when he thinks it’s safest. The rarity of it’s use makes for a nice kind of ride, Jake doesn’t have to throw anything around to make room, it’s just clean already. He keeps it a few blocks away, just on the edge of the rich neighbourhood, because he doesn’t live in one anymore, but everything that he’s salvaged is too good to take home, because otherwise it’ll be stolen. He may have lived on the rich end of Jersey, but he’s not an idiot, because Rich definitely didn’t live on the rich end of New Jersey, and he’d told him everything he needed to know, and even then, sometimes Jake’s stuff would just… disappear.

                Jake breathes in, slowly. A careful inhale that doesn’t disturb anything they may have between them. Rich is his best friend- Jake is driving and he loves his best friend, perhaps more than anyone else he’s ever loved. Not that Jake was renowned for being a particularly loyal lover, his ex-girlfriend(s) could tell you that much, but he knew he loved Rich, because Rich has been there for longer, Rich has sat there and listened, with his hard expression, and Rich knew how to keep secrets, because he had kept secrets locked inside himself before he met Jake, and Jake had poured his heart out to Rich because that’s all he could do, there was just something about Rich that Jake knew he could trust, and for once he can say that his intuition was correct. Jake remembers the night like one remembers a particularly painful scar, he remembers inviting Rich in, the car passing by three times, and his inexplicable panic, because that wasn’t a familiar car, and they had come to get him, because his mom and dad had messed up, and they were going to kill him. “ _Rich, you can’t be here, man, they’re gonna kill me._ ”

                But he wasn’t talking about his mom and dad, he was talking about the gangs he had worked with. Through a hushed whisper, tight swallowing in his throat, and the uncomfortable pricking of tears in his eyes, Jake explains how his parents disappeared, and they haven’t come back in a month, and he doesn’t know if they’ll ever come back. They haven’t sent him any money, he has to get a job, he has to take care of himself, and he can’t keep that secret to himself, and “ _Rich, man, you can’t tell anyone. Please don’t tell anyone_.”

                Rich promises he won’t, _“You’re my best friend, man. I wouldn’t do that to you. You’re my best friend, and I care about you. If you need anything, you know that me and Ste will help you out, right?_ ” Jake nods and nods and nods and once he’s at least halfway sure that they won’t kill him if he goes downstairs, and Rich volunteers to sleep over for the night, and Jake nods and nods and nods again, and he spends the night turned to face Rich, like a scared twelve year old after a nightmare. He doesn’t want to move, he stays awake until Rich paws his face and quietly scolds him to go to sleep, and Jake swears that Rich slurred the s, like he had a lisp, but he says nothing, he just closes his eyes and prays sleep comes, and it comes when he grabs one of Rich’s hands and pulls it closer.

                Those kinds of memories are rough, Jake knows he loves Rich, and he knows that night was one of the first nights he kind of knew, but that was only the start of their being friends, and Chloe wasn’t going to stop that, because Jake was as straight as the road in front of him. Only, he could see a bend in the distance, and it was coming and coming and coming, and Jake wanted nothing more than to complete that turn. He presses down a little harder on the pedal, willing it closer, Rich turns up the music louder. They begin to sing to Green Day, Jake remembers the tattoo Rich has on his arm, Rage and Love, and he remembers that his brother has a matching one. He wants to touch it all of a sudden, and he flexes his fingers on the gearstick to try and keep his wants at bay.

                Jake keeps driving, keeps singing, keeps glancing at the boy beside him, and keeps wanting him. He can’t do anything else but that, because there’s no obligations. There’s just Rich, and the road, and making sure he keeps one hand on the wheel and the other on the gearstick. He glances again, the setting sun highlights the red stripe going through Rich’s hair, and Jake knows he could write poems about that single moment alone, his singing goes quiet, Rich crinkles his nose when the sunrays hit him in the eye. He closes them tightly for a moment, leans back to try and avoid them. “Lean forward, dude. If you’re gonna be ridiculously tall, at least be good at being a shade.” Jake laughs and leans forward and Rich grins that same sharp-shark grin he always wore, and Jake Dillinger feels his stomach flip like he’s been in a car wreck, and his bones feel funny all over again, and he smiles at the feeling, because it’s weird, and warm, and Jake doesn’t know what kind of facial expression you make for when your heart feelings make every bone in your body feel like jelly.

                The bend is so close now, Jake pulls the gearstick so that the car slows, there’s a little area they can pull over, and Jake knows that the journey is so close to ending, and everything is so perfect right now, the sky is just right, the weather is warm, and Rich is here, and Rich looks so happy, and Jake feels so happy, and he wants this to last forever and ever. He knows how to make it last for forever, he knows how to make this warm feeling stay, and he knows that the worst thing he could do now is push it away.

                Jake pulls into the bend, and sits back, causing a loud complaint, Rich lazily throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the low-burning sun in the distance, “Dude, you have no respect for me.” He complains, and Jake laughs loudly, showing his perfect smile and his too-white teeth that always have something to hide, like they’ve been painted over. The moment is so perfect. Jake clicks his seatbelt, and shifts sideways so he’s staring right at Rich, and Rich is looking right back at him, and then he gets embarrassed, because he looks away and rubs at the burn under his eye, “What?” He asks, glancing back at Jake, and Jake smiles, taking hold of his wrist and pulling it away. “Don’t rub it.” He says, and then he’s leaning in a little closer, and he kind of clicks his tongue, because he’s nervous.

                “Hey, can I tell you something?”

                “Yeah, what?”

                He’s in his car with the most beautiful boy to walk this earth, this boy with an oak casket for a chest and that’s how he burned so easily. He’s in love with this boy, who has eyes like animated water, and they’re not that far apart, but it still feels like miles, and Jake moves his hand up Rich’s wrist to take his hand, and they don’t fit together well because Rich doesn’t know what’s going on, and Jake wants to tell him, it feels like the cavern of his throat is caving in, and he can barely breathe. He presses his lips into a thin line, and tries to keep his eyes on Rich. “I-.. uh…” The bend is only milliseconds away, it’s so close, he can see Rich’s rage and love tattoo on his arm, and he can see the faint glimmer in Rich’s eyes that’s just Rich, and Jake’s making him nervous, but Jake’s nervous too. He blinks, hard, and tries to take a calming breath. “…I kinda like you, like. That way, dude.”

The journey doesn’t skid to a halt, Jake isn’t going too fast, he’s not going to try and turn the bed only to flip and flip and flip and die with every bone in his body broken. He turns the bend like he’s turning a corner to walk to the store. It’s almost effortless, if his face wasn’t flushing red, “Like-… you don’t need to like me back, or anything. It’s cool if you don’t, like…”

                Jake is stopped by Rich, who holds up his free hand, smiling wickedly, “Are you coming out to me, Jake?” Jake nods, and Rich laughs so loudly Jake can feel It buzz in the back of his head, and he can see how sharp Rich’s teeth are, “Man, I can’t believe _the_ Jake Dillinger has a crush on me. Talk about a disappointment to all the ladies.” Jake rolls his eyes fondly, and shrugs, Rich keeps talking, “I mean, shit, that’s like, cool or whatever, Jake.” He clears his throat, “How- uh, how long have you… y’know, liked _me_?” Jake shrugs, because it had kind of been a while, and Jake wasn’t really sure of the concept of time, only that it was going so slowly, and it was almost agony. “I don’t know, I just know I like you, and like-… I’unno. You appear in my dreams sometimes like a kind of angel, and-… I don’t know, man, I just-… I think about like, kissing you sometimes, I guess.”

                Rich looks shell-shocked, skin slightly paler beneath his freckles, he’s still smiling, but he seems embarrassed. He is embarrassed. Jake squeezes the hand he’s still holding, and Rich faintly repeats one word, “Kiss?” Jake smiles, he shrugs, like he’s been asked what he wants for food, and Rich hates that, because he’s embarrassed, and Jake’s the one who initiated all that, so why isn’t he the one whose all embarrassed and weird and red, and why isn’t he the smooth one? He tilts his head the other way, mouth closed.

                Jake presses his lips together in the silence, and nods, “I … Yeah, that’s what I said, dude.” He mumbles, and he glances at Rich’s mouth with a little glow in his eyes. Rich raises a thick eyebrow, “I’m not leaning into you like a girl, Jake. Bend down, Jesus.” Jake feels his heart in his throat. He leans down, and kisses Rich, and it’s clumsy, and awkward, and their teeth click together too much, and Jake feels his heart swelling so much that it’s going to jump out of his chest.

                He’s in a car with a boy called Rich Goranski, and they’re touching, and Jake loves him more than he could ever say, his name is Jake Dillinger and he is kissing the angel who hovers over him in his dreams, and he is happy. The car has turned the bend, and he’s found his home under the arch of Rich Goranski's arms.


End file.
